Dream from the mailbag:
…I’ve been having this dream fairly regular and it upsets me every time as it appears so real and normally when they feel like that with me I’m not far off the mark. Anyway the dream includes myself and my husband and my husband decides to meet up with this guy, same face every time but unknown to me in real life. He has an affair with this guy and I sneak around the house watching them kissing etc and I ask him to choose to which he says our marriage is over if I do that. Also I’m around when this guy comes. I have to talk to him but hate the feeling of this as he says he doesn’t want to take things slow and wants to speed things up to the bedroom which I then feel really bad about and end up sitting, crying, listening to my husband having sex with this man. He then comes out and says he will be doing this more often and I either move on or just get on with it including in the relationship. I’ve spoken to my husband about this as it eats away at me and he just laughs and says I’m weird. Have you any ideas of this as I’m lost for thinking what it might be?
PS also the last time I had a dream like this my ex was actually having an affair and I even knew her name due to the dream as my grandfather who is dead told me, hence my concern.
Do YOU want to try decoding this one? Click to comment.
Thanks for sharing your dream with me. I’ll do my best here: There must be a recurring fear or desire that keeps manifesting in your dream because you have gotten this dream many times, my first guess would be that your subconscious is trying to tell your conscious mind something important here. One important thing to consider first is dreams are mostly about the dreamer, although there are exceptions.
First we begin with you, your husband, and some unknown male, the same face but you don’t know who it is in life. My feelings here are: this is about concerns you have about your married life. But also I think some trust issues and fears around that. What does your husband represent to you? What strengths or aspects of your personality would he symbolize? The unknown, unseen man could be a symbol of an action or an event or something actively occurring but outside of your control or awareness.
Perhaps the man is unknown to you because you think or feel there is something, the same unknown something, that is pulling you away from your husband. Something has his attention. *note: I want to be clear here that these are perhaps your feelings and thoughts about the situation and not your husbands motivations, thoughts and feelings.
“he has an affair with this guy and I sneak around the house watching them kissing etc”
An affair, or a secret relationship, a hidden agenda. I want to take two courses here: 1. you could be perceiving something in your husband that is exciting for him, something that helps him feel more like a man or more masculine. More able to act. 2. there is something in your life, some action that you could take that would bring about more happiness and fulfillment in your life. Are you secretly looking out for it?
“I ask him to choose which he says our marriage is over if I do that….”
This secret action or activity that you could do, would it impact your relationship? Perhaps you fear that it would…
“…also I’m around when this guy comes I have to talk to him but hate the feeling of this as he says he doesn’t want to take things slow and wants to speed things up to the bedroom which I then feel really bad about…”
There is a conflict of ideas here. On the one hand you want there to be change, you want it to happen quickly and fast, but on the other hand you feel bad about your choices or decisions. It hurts you too.
“…and end up sitting crying listening to my husband having sex with this man he then comes out and says he will be doing this more often an I either move on or just get on with it including in the relationship.”
You end up sitting not acting. Not choosing, not moving. Whatever this action or activity is that is causing the wedge only escalates. It only gets more and more intense or advanced. Something that is building and outside the realm of your control. You feel separated from your power perhaps.
All in all, sounds mostly like you are concerned about a choice that was made, or not made which then took the choice out of your hands. Might you be feeling that your hubby is distracted? Or is it an aspect of your own self that is being pulled away. Your husband could represent security, protection, and love. Some action or activity, perhaps unknown or forgotten to you, could be pulling you away from the security, protection and love in your life. Your own secret could be on the verge of metastasizing.
Hi, yeah I can relate to all of this at the moment and yeah feel free to share it with everyone as its helped me afair bit and I will be able to understand more now many thanks.
Do you have a dream you want decoded? Go ahead and send us your dream. I dare you!