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Dreaming of a Black-haired Man

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Dreams Decoded here. Post your dream and I will do my best to help you understand what your subconscious is trying to tell you. Go ahead and post your dream, I dare you..

Dream from the mailbag: 

Hello! Here’s a dream for you to decode on your blog if you like.

First, in real life, I went clubbing last night at a Goth/Industrial
event. It was my first time at that place and I had tons of fun
dancing. I didn’t meet anybody new there.

When I got home and went to sleep, here’s the dream I had. I was back
at the club with a group of people. Half of them were my friends and
half were people I had just met. One of them was a guy with pitch
black hair; he’s been a recurring dream character since before I met
my husband, for many years. He was flirting with me and I was sort of

flirting back, but was afraid my husband would get upset. Everyone
else seemed to be encouraging me to flirt back. Finally, when my
husband’s head was turned, I let the black-haired guy kiss me. When I
saw my husband again, though, he was staring straight at us and giving
the guy dirty looks. I felt really bad because I didn’t want to hurt
his feelings or to make him think I didn’t love him (my husband).

Somehow the other guy and his friends were chased away and my husband
was laying on top of me, kissing me. I felt bad that I made him upset,
so I asked him about it. Turns out he was jealous because the
black-haired guy had flirted with BOTH of us in the beginning, and he
wanted the guy to kiss him too!

As for the black-haired guy himself, I’ve never been sure who or what
he represents, but last night it seemed like he represented a part of
me? Not sure. In a couple of past dreams, I have watched from his
point of view.

That’s all. Thank you!
–R

Dream Decoded: 

Thanks for sharing your dream with me. I’ll do my best here:

Let’s start with first things first…

“I was back at the club with a group of people.”

The club was the setting where this desire or dream was triggered. Perhaps you had a thought, have had it on your mind or observed something that you want to do that triggered an unconscious desire or “wish” (to borrow from Freud’s thinking) that has yet to be fulfilled in your life.

“Half of them were my friends and half were people I had just met.”

My thinking here is that you have a strong support system of people who will support you with whatever direction you take this desire or skill or whatever it is, your friends have your back; they are there for you. The “people you just met” might symbolize the idea that if you move in this direction, you will meet the right people at the right time, you will “just” meet them, gaining you additional support to get you where you are going or what you are wanting to do. You mentioned having tons of fun dancing, could the symbolism be that “on the nose”? Do you just want to dance? If no, then perhaps this skill or talent or activity you want to do is something that is super fun for you and when you do it, you feel like your heart is dancing. Maybe it really gets your heart pumping.

“One of them was a guy with pitch black hair; he’s been a recurring dream character since before I met my husband, for many years. He was flirting with me and I was sort of flirting back, but was afraid my husband would get upset. “

I’m feeling that this dream character is just that, a part of your individual character, and likely has more to do with something you really want to be doing in your life. Something that has been “reoccurring” for many years. Let me break down my thinking on the pitch black hair: I think that the blackness represent something creative and/or unconscious. It could also mean secret or unknown to people, mysterious  but the skill, talent, or activity just comes naturally to you. It could also mean something that requires your focused attention. The recurring aspect might mean it is something that has been in your life for a while,  “many years”, something perhaps, that you simply did or wanted to do before you met your husband but you have not had the courage to do it, even though you have a natural ability for it, and strong attraction to it. And it has been drawing you to it, but you have not really shown much of an outward interest though it is there the whole time if you look back. Do you wonder if this desire would jeopardize your relationship with your husband, or is there something more personal at the core? Or does your husband represent the commitment and stability of your life now and making this choice would somehow cause an upset. Perhaps you are worried about how to blend two activities, the main commitment and you have been flirting with the idea doing something on your own, by or for your self.

Everyone else seemed to be encouraging me to flirt back. Finally, when my husband’s head was turned, I let the black-haired guy kiss me. I felt really bad because I didn’t want to hurt
his feelings or to make him think I didn’t love him (my husband).

You have people in your life who are rooting for you. They are telling you to embrace this skill you have. Might your husbands turned head represent the idea that your husband doesn’t know about this hidden gift or activity that you can do? And you secretly want to have an intimate experience. Perhaps you are afraid that doing this for yourself makes you selfish or that your husband won’t understand?

Somehow the other guy and his friends were chased away and my husband was laying on top of me, kissing me. I felt bad that I made him upset, so I asked him about it. Turns out he was jealous because the black-haired guy had flirted with BOTH of us in the beginning, and he wanted the guy to kiss him too!

Juicy! Only I think this has more to do with what your dream is trying to tell you and less to do with the sexual parts of kissing. Perhaps your unconscious mind is trying to reassure you that your husband will understand. That he will be there for you too. He wants the same thing, to connect to what he is meant to be doing in life or if your husband represents more the side of your life that is stable and secure, than perhaps you are being shown that this choice can be a good choice for both parts of your life. Both things you focus on or do in your life. You can have BOTH!

As for the black-haired guy himself, I’ve never been sure who or what he represents, but last night it seemed like he represented a part of
me? Not sure. In a couple of past dreams, I have watched from his point of view.

I will take your word for it and believe that indeed, this man represents are part of yourself; an aspect. Perhaps you can see it manifest as an inherent skill, gift or talent that you have, up until this point, only flirted with the idea of. But lately, the idea has been attracting you more and more.

All in all I think your dream is speaking to some insecurities you have about doing your hearts desire. Something that you are naturally gifted in, something that will fulfill both the needs of your family and household (husband), but also your self and the needs and desires you have for you and only you. I think it is telling you you know what you really want to do. What you really really want for your self only is also what you really really need in your life and you have the friends and the people around you that can help support it.

I hope that helps. Please let me know if your decoding makes sense or rings true. I am always interested in hearing your feedback!


Do you have a dream you want decoded? Go ahead and send us your dream. I dare you!

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Author: DreamDecoder

Just another soul on Earth with all of you.

2 thoughts on “Dreaming of a Black-haired Man

  1. Thank you! A lot of it does make sense and you’ve given me new things to think about!

    The main thing that doesn’t ring true is I don’t really have a supportive group of friends. I’m kind of a loner and don’t relate well to most people.

    I think you are right that the dream was literally about dancing/clubbing, because it’s fun and I feel like I fit in with that crowd of people, but I’m not able to go very often. But the recurring guy being there was what threw me off, like it meant something deeper 🙂 I will have to think on your interpretation a bit more. Thanks again!

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