Dream from the mailbag:
I had a dream last nite that my husband left me for a man. Not only a man, but the most flamboyant kind. They were openly affectionate, even at my house and I had to tell him that it was unacceptable for his “lover” to be around our kids and for them to be affectionate in front of them. My kids were asking me questions and the longer the dream went on the more frustrated I got with the situation. I don’t know where this dream came from. I’ve had dreams of my husband leaving me for other women or just cheating, but never with a man. It made sick to my stomach and I couldn’t sleep.
Thank you so much for sharing your dream with me. I will do my best to help you see perhaps something you didn’t before.
…my husband left me for a man. Not only a man, but the most flamboyant kind. They were openly affectionate, even at my house and I had to tell him that it was unacceptable for his “lover” to be around our kids and for them to be affectionate in front of them.
Sometimes when we dream of people doing strange or out of character things, we are dumbfounded as to what symbolism this sort of idea might be suggesting, but I think if we pull away from what you experienced at face value, we can see the underlying concerns being expressed. Is it possible that your husband has his attention on something you have concerns about? Perhaps you dreamed of him leaving you in the first place because you are sensing separation or a disconnect between you and your husband. He is doing something in front of everyone that you don’t approve of. This might relate to feminine qualities or behaviors that he has been acting on but have triggered something for you unconsciously regarding any blatant choices, actions and behaviors that you feel, underneath or deep down, to be unacceptable.
My kids were asking me questions and the longer the dream went on the more frustrated I got with the situation.
You feel out of control. Or at least, unable to manage the situation hence your frustration.It is as though, you see him doing something you don’t like and you don’t want him to do this around the kids. Perhaps this behavior is what you would consider to be on the fringe of society. The flamboyant gay lover is likely reflecting this activity, action or choice your husband enjoys that you object to.
I wonder if your physical reaction to this dream is related to your actual feelings about having to manage this situation at all. It seems as though you feel like you have to be the one to tell him what he is doing is wrong, as though it has never occurred to him before that it might not be alright with you. It is like a slap in the face, blatant disregard for your feelings whilst he parades around your house and kids pleasing himself and you are forced to confront him about it and then are left to answer all the questions when the kids come asking.
Look for a life situation that is being mirrored…
Hope this helps!