Dream from the mailbag:
I have lots of dreams that are scary, they aren’t nightmares but they include my marriage failing or my daughter being harmed. This one is the weirdest. And it was so very real when I was dreaming that when I woke up, I was actually angry at my husband.
Me and my husband are on this beach and we live in this beach house. And we don’t have our daughter so It’s just us married and all that and one night you have this party and Jim (my husband) had to run out to get more chips or snack stuff and I was in our room and one of his friends came in and we were just talking and everything and all of the sudden he leaned in and kissed me. I stopped him, and was like “I’m happily married” I was afraid to tell Jim so I didn’t and I was just trying to forget it. then a couple days later I was like we are missing 500$ from our safe so Jim said “I installed these security cameras for safety” and the safe was in our bedroom so when we watched the tapes over, he saw that he tried to kiss me and I was freaking out and started crying and was like no baby I swear I stopped him I was afraid to tell you. and all that good stuff. He believed me and didn’t get angry he just kinda ignored it like it didn’t happen and boom, that first part of my dream ended.
The second part (which is the weirdest part of all) Jim and I are in the same beach house and me and christy (our neighbor) stayed friends. And we invited her and nate(her husband) and their kids to come stay for the weekend and play at the beach and stuff. so they came up and we were having a good time and then nate was like I got to run to work real quick I’ll be back. and then their kids came and they were all muddy and dirty from the beach so christy was like im going to go clean them off so she went in the shower and started cleaning them and she was like “Jim or lyndsey I need your help real quick” so I went in there and there was like this big rock in the bathtub that her kids brought in and Jim was like okay well ill get it since It’s really heavy. I said okay and left I was sitting in the family room watching tv and about an hour goes by, I was like Whats taking so long. So I go into the bathroom and Jim is in the shower with christy not having sex, but they were both naked and they were just kissing but like a real passionate kissing like not like the “I just want sex kiss” but real kissing like passionate making out. I started freaking out and dragged her out of the bathrrom by her hair and I was screaming and Jim were telling me to calm down it wasn’t that big of a deal and she was crying so I was like let’s just see how nate feels about this. So I called him at work and told him and he was so mad and he came back to our house and we were both standing there like this is some bullshit. Jim had this careless expression on his face and christy was still crying. I so I looked at nate and was like well it looks like im getting a divorce and he was like me too, so I looked at Jim and I was like guess we are both single now and he just stood there like he didn’t care. so nate turned to me and said “since we are both single we might as well get together” I was like fine I don’t care. and christy was like “you can’t do this to me” and I kicked her out of my house and then nate kicked Jim out. you still had the careless expression on your face the entire time.
What does it mean? I mean me and husband do have some jealousy issues from time to time, but we are newly married (2 years) I can’t understand why I would still be dreaming like this.
Thank you for sharing your dream with me, I shall do my best to help point you in the right direction.
Dreaming of being at the beach or on the beach is a very common dream location. We all have different connections to the beach but most of them represent happy, bright, fun, and relaxing space. People go there to recharge, to enjoy nature and soak up its beauty. The clue of not having your daughter with you, may suggest that whatever you are dreaming about doesn’t concern her or that aspect of the relationship between you and your husband, which is what I suspect your inner-world is toiling with. So, then we might wonder if perhaps we are being told that the concepts being explored by your subconscious begin from a comfortable place “beached” with your husband when a friend of his and you make a connection.
A kiss can indicate a personal communication between two people, a personal connection, it doesn’t have to be sexual but it seems that was the impression you came to and so you push this sort of thing away out of respect for your boundaries. And then you live out the fear that not only do you do the right thing, you then take on guilt for the situation happening to begin with. The “friend” crossed the line, yet you feel the need to be overly apologetic to your husband in the dream. You feel guilty for not being completely honest or forthcoming about it. Whatever the issue, might you be feeling that your husband is a bit apathetic toward your good choices or valid concerns?
The second part of your dream is telling me that perhaps your friends, this couple you mention were having some really “heavy” issues with their kids and they reached out to you for your help and expertise. You for whatever reason, felt he was a more suitable choice to help and so he “took care of it”. I keep getting the idea that there was a deep discussion or a meeting of hearts between your husband and a close female friend, one where you both agreed this would be a good thing at first and one where it was to help the friend with a big problem she or they could not easily remove themselves because you two decided to step in and help them, making their problem sort of your problem. The idea of two people kissing naked in the shower to me suggests that they both are doing some personal cleaning out, starting fresh with honest and open communication. There is nothing being hidden. This might be intimidating for you if you are perceiving that your hubby is close to another and talks about personal stuff with her but not you…however it is your overreaction to the situation that I find more interesting.
What you say happens next I see as retaliation out of what you feel is a betrayal. But I think the underlying frustration becomes even more apparent by the end of the dream.
Even this, the possible end of your relationship, the loss of something important, even this is not enough to illicit an emotional response from your man, in your eyes. He does nothing to comfort the crying woman he was once just kissing with passion, he does nothing to console or calm you down like you did in the previous dream for him. You are perceiving his carelessness. So, look to your reality for ways that disprove this idea. Look for all the ways your husband does care, is invested and is expressing such to you instead of worries that he is a stone man with no feelings or considerations for his actions or the actions of others. Look for ways in which he does act and is invested. Consider that the only time you observed his passion was when he was kissing in the shower. What does that say about how you think he is motivated? Remember, what happens in your brain has to do firstly with YOU and YOUR fears, concerns, worries, problems, observations, perspectives and feelings as they relate to others.
Hope this helps!